


Attention

by ryleewrites



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/F, MerAdd, meddison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:48:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25376434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryleewrites/pseuds/ryleewrites
Summary: Addison is desperate for attention, and she isn't getting any from her husband.season 2, episode 20 "Band-Aid Covers the Bullet Hole"
Relationships: Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery
Comments: 11
Kudos: 69





	Attention

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bobbiejelly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbiejelly/gifts).



> Hello again!
> 
> I wasn't sure if I was going to write more Meredith x Addison fic, but the community here has been so welcoming and encouraging that I just had to do it! Extra special thanks to @bobbiejelly who this work is gifted to and who has been nothing but kind to me during my venture into the fandom.
> 
> I wasn't 100% sure that to rate this. So, if you feel it should be rated differently, please let me know!!
> 
> Also, this story is written in Addison's point of view, and Meredith's words are in italics. This is a new style for me, so please don't hesitate to let me know if you do or don't like it!
> 
> Okay, on with the show.

“He paid attention to me, Miranda, for a whole half-hour.”

Addison was leaning over the nurses station to get a patient's file while talking to the chief resident. She wasn't sure what response she was hoping to receive. She wasn't really sure why she was saying anything at all. Maybe she was hoping for some validation, but Dr. Bailey was not about to give that to her.

“Addison… You’re not gonna fix the problems with your husband by having meals with someone else's,” Miranda responded. Addison tried not to roll her eyes. Instead she pursed her lips together and made a little coughing noise to suppress her frustrated sigh. “I mean it!” Bailey called after her as the redhead turned and began to walk down the corridor. 

And Addison knew she was right, but she wasn’t sure that she cared.

* * *

It had started that morning when Mr. Gibson had said she bears a striking resemblance to a young Catherine Deneuve. Addison actually hadn't known who that was at the time, but she had been flattered nonetheless. And, after a quick google search in a bathroom stall, she realized how much of a compliment it really was.

She had tried to talk to Derek about it. She thought he might pick up on the fact that a patient was ogling her, maybe even get jealous. But he barely so much as looked up from his scans. “Isn’t she blonde?” was his absent minded reply. 

And when Mr. Gibson had approached her in the cafeteria, she had tried to just inform him of his wife’s status and let him down easy. But he complimented her again and he seemed genuine. “I understand if a beautiful, intelligent woman like you doesn't want to eat with me. So, uh, anyway, ” He rambled on. And of course she told him he could stay because why wouldn't she. She hated to admit that she craved the way he acted around her with all the nervous compliments and semi-groveling. Plus, he had pudding.

He had continued to hover all the way back up to the labor and delivery floor, talking to, complementing, and attempting to garner a laugh from the attending. She liked it. 

Then, their baby was born, and she was invisible again.

* * *

It wasn’t as though Addison had thought anything would come of these interactions. She had no intentions of doing anything to or with this man, who was about to be the father of a beautiful new baby. It wasn’t that. She just liked the attention. 

Derek had stopped seeing her. He had stopped seeing her a long time ago. It wasn’t news to either of them; after all, it was a large part of why she ended up cheating on Derek with Mark. But it was a bit concerning to her that nothing had changed, nothing she did was enough to garner her husband’s focus. Honestly, it made Addison feel so small that she thought she could probably shrivel up into a tiny ball that someone could use as a paperweight or an ornament, or place her on a mantel like a snowglobe. But she figured, even then, a snowglobe is only worth something if someone takes the time to shake it.

Meredith could just breathe and he was at her heels like a puppy waiting for a treat. She wasn't angry with the intern, it wasn't her fault that Addison was in her current position. 

Even as she watched from the gallery as the petite brunette operated with her husband, she knew why Derek would reserve his attention for her. She was everything that Addison was not. She knew she should be envious of the younger woman, but she didn't want to be her. She just wanted someone to see her the way Derek saw Meredith, the way everyone saw Meredith. 

The way she saw Meredith.

* * *

Addison was lost in her thoughts, trying and failing to get the paperwork done in her office, when she heard a knock at the door. 

“Come in,” she called, looking up and over the glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose. She was surprised to hear someone at her door, after all she had been sort of invisible as of late. She wondered briefly if it might be Mr. Gibson. She was even more surprised to see who actually stepped through her door frame. 

“Grey?” Addison questioned.

_“Uh, hi. I just came here because I wanted to- well, you see, I thought I should ask, because we are being friends now, and friends would ask… actually, you know what, maybe I should come back another time, because you’re clearly working and you probably have better things to talk about than me and you have a husband to get home to and - “_

“Grey,” Addison repeated the girl’s name more sternly, interrupting her words. It wasn’t uncommon for Meredith Grey to be awkward. It was actually one of her many, many endearing qualities.

_“I’m rambling… Sorry.”_

The redhead smiled a little and took off her glasses, using them to point at the seat across from her. She watched as the intern’s shoulders seemed to relax a little and wondered what was going on in the brunette’s mind. Once Meredith was sitting on the other side of her desk, Addison cocked her head a little to the side in anticipation. But the brunette just stared back at her.

_“I might as well not have a husband to get home to at this point” Addie said under her breath when Meredith make any move to speak. “Speaking of, I thought you were supposed to be scrubbing in on a double barrel brain bypass with him.”_

“I was and then I wasn’t. I took over babysitting for Cristina, because she promised to do my share of scut work for a week. You know, it doesn’t matter. I’m not in surgery. I’m here”

“So you are,” Addison responded, leaning back in her chair, “and why might that be?”

_“To see you.”_

Suddenly, Addison’s full focus was on Meredith. 

_“Well, and to talk to you… I need some advice. It’s about something horrible I did to someone I care about and all my friends are involved and they can’t be impartial and we’re friends now, so I thought I’d ask you.”_

Addison found herself a bit disappointed that the brunette wasn’t just there to see her. She tried not to think about the fact that this meant some part of her wanted that. She let out a sigh of frustration. 

_“Are you okay?”_

Of course Addison wasn’t okay, but she couldn’t say that. So, instead, she responded, “I’m fine. I’m sure whatever you did wasn't that bad.”

_“I slept with George. I slept with him and then I cried while we were having sex. I knew how he felt… and now everything’s changed and I don’t know how to repair it. All I know is that I have to.”_

Addison could see the pain in the other woman’s eyes and was surprised at how much she really felt for Meredith. She made a mistake and now her world was shattering. Addison thought her world shattered a long time ago and now every day she walked barefoot on the broken shards left behind.

“You have to tell him that then. You have to apologize and keep apologizing until he listens,” Addison said, leaning forward with her elbows on the desk.

_“Did that work? Did Derek listen?”_

Addison went to reply, but then shut her mouth and frowned. She felt a swirl of emotions in her chest, because she knew the answer wasn’t the one either of them wanted to hear. Derek had not listened before, and then she slept with his best friend. Then she apologized and he didn’t listen, but then he did. And now he doesn't all over again.

“No,” she sighed indignantly, “I don’t think he did. I don't think he does.”

_“Oh.”_

The room was silent for a moment while the two of them stared at each other. Addison wondered if she should say something else, but decided that maybe they were better off letting the possibilities of what could be said next hang in the air like confetti. So the moment dragged on. She found herself staring down at her hands and letting her mind wander into another universe where Derek did listen, Or one where she didn’t care whether he was listening or not. 

_“Are you okay?”_

Addison was a bit startled when Meredith finally broke the silence. She snapped her head up to look at the woman across from her, who was eyeing her up with some concern, and it graced her mind that she probably looked a little pathetic right now. She felt pretty pathetic. 

“I’m fine. It’s just been a long day,” she said, looking back down at her hands.

_“Do you want to talk about it? I mean, you don't have to, obviously, but I just told you about my horrible, terrible mistake, so you know… I’m happy to listen. If you want to talk.”_

The intern was rambling again, and Addison found it endearing. Again. She watched the girls hands move around as she attempted to articulate herself, and the redhead felt a pull inside her. Meredith was willing to listen to what she had to say.

“He said I looked like a young Catherine Deneuve,” Addison let out. She was pretty sure it was a mistake to tell her current husband’s ex-mistress about her marriage woes, but they were trying to be friends, right? And Meredith said she would listen. 

_“What? I mean, yeah, you kind of do. She’s hot. Wait, you said that? Derek? Is that a bad thing?”_

“No, a patient’s husband said it,” Addison quickly corrected. It wasn’t lost on her that Meredith had basically just called her hot. In fact, she had to actively suppress the warm feeling that was rising in her chest as a result of the brunette’s implication. “I told Derek and he didn’t care. I thought he would be, I don’t know, a little jealous. Maybe turned on? At least agree with the compliment. But he barely even looked at me. And then I had lunch with the guy, and I know Derek saw me talking to him after. I don’t think he even really noticed it was me.”

The attending knew she was the one rambling now but she couldn’t help herself. Meredith’s green eyes were wide and attentive, and Addison hadn’t had someone to talk to, someone who was really paying attention to what she had to say, in so long. 

_“God, men are stupid.”_

Addison couldn’t help but laugh at that. It was simple, but true. She didn’t really expect much more of a response from the brunette, but then she kept talking.

_“Especially Derek, though. I mean, look at you, all leggy and fabulous. You’re hot! Like really hot. You know, I think I’ve actually heard people call you Mchot. Which is definitely a compliment, because you are. Mchot.”_

Meredith was up out of the chair and pacing now, which kind of concerned Addison. But what concerned her more was what the brunette’s words were doing to her. She hated that she was so easy to fluster, but Meredith was gorgeous and enticing and she could have any man she wanted. And she was complimenting Addison. And what's worse, Addison could tell Meredith meant what she was saying. The redhead stood up and moved to the other side of the room to try and settle the younger woman down.

_“And you’re smart. And accomplished. You’re amazing! Anyone who can’t see that must be immeasurably stupid. Jesus, I can’t blame that patient’s husband. Who wouldn’t want to be with you?”_

Addison watched as Meredith spun to face her with an exasperated look on her face. The green eyes staring into her soul were almost too much for the older woman to handle. Meredith was here and she had listened and now she was ranting about how wonderful Addison. It was all Addison had wanted. Attention. 

“You really think I’m desirable?” she questioned, trying to make sure she was reading the intern right while also buying herself a moment to decide if she was really about to make the catastrophic choice that she thought she was. She took a step closer.

_“God, yes! I can’t believe you’re even questioning that.”_

“I think I am going to kiss you now, Meredith. If that's okay,” Addison said. Her tone was confident, but she didn’t really know what she was doing. All she knew is that she wanted more of what Meredith Grey was giving her, more of what her husband had been withholding for months. She noticed the intern’s eyes widen at her words, and she held her breath as she anticipated a reply.

_“Okay.”_

“Okay,” Addison exhaled, her heart swelling as she leaned in. 

When their lips met it was like the world was moving in slow motion. Addison could feel time moving around her, and she wondered if it would ever be normal again, but she didn’t really mind. She didn’t mind at all, because Meredith was kissing her. 

And then Meredith locked the door. 

Addison could feel the younger woman’s hands all over her like hot coal, leaving burns up and down her body. It was exhilarating. They were up against the wall, and in the chair, and then on the desk, paperwork long forgotten. Addison’s clothes were on the floor and her inhibitions were out the window. And Meredith was paying attention to every part of Addison’s anatomy. Meticulously. 

She didn’t know when the last time someone had cared so much about how she was feeling during sex. Meredith took her time, seeming to take in every second of the experience. And Addison couldn't help but relish in the feeling. Every single touch sent shivers up and down her spine, and every gentle kiss made her whole body shudder. 

It was all Addison could do not to cry when she came. Twice.

And, of course, she returned the favor. She was a gentlewoman, after all. She didn’t even think about how this was the girl that took up all the free real estate in her husband’s mind. All she could focus on was how Meredith had seen her when no one else had. 

* * *

Afterwards, there wasn’t much talking. A thank you exchanged on both sides and a few kind smiles as they put themselves back together. Addison wasn’t embarrassed or regretful, and she didn’t think Meredith was either. They just didn’t have much else to say. Except when the younger woman spoke one ringing sentence.

_“You deserve better than him, Addison.”_

“I know,” was the redhead’s only response. Because she did know, she just hadn’t considered that better was possible, or that better could come in the form of a small, brunette intern. She kept that part to herself.

They walked out of the office and got onto the elevator together. No one noticed.

* * *

Sometimes people do desperate things to get attention.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> I am not as proud of this fic as I was the last, but I wanted to post it anyway to share the MerAdd love and hear some feedback! So, any and all feedback is much appreciated!!


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